FROM THE BOOK — REDEMPTION WRITINGS FROM PRISON: DOG PROGRAM
RED NOSE BULLY
Poem — by E. Jay Flowers (2025)
A red nose bully is doing life in the kennel — judged by his breed, his teeth, his scars — and asking who can see his heart. E. Jay Flowers wrote this poem from inside the Arizona prison system, where he is serving life. It appears in his book, Redemption Writings From Prison: Dog Program.
This Red Nose Bully doin' life in the Kennel. My eyes blank and dark at the same time. I'm sitting in this concrete Kennel contemplating my next move. Minutes have turned into hours, hours to days, days to years, years to decades (3 so far), decades to Natural Life, and Natural Life is 'til death do us part— Contemplating still... Am I dead already? Is this Hell? Did I pray enough?!... Is this LIFE?... I start to pray... Can You hear me?! Do You see me walking in this cramped Kennel?... No response. I shake my coat, pick my head up— Have You seen me struggling from a decade plus of solitary confinement since a pup?— Positive and negative stages I find myself in. Do You Know Me? Do You Know My heart? It's hurting. I'm persevering, I think! God, am I OK? I'm OK! This can't be OK! They're walking by bars and fences of the Kennel looking in on me. I look up. They walk by— Nobody stops for the Red Nose Bully, just for the Poodles and Chihuahuas. You know, My breed comes with a reputation that precedes me— God, You see my heart— They see my teeth. They see my scars. I am not ashamed of my scars— Am I supposed to be? They call me “Bully”— I'm fighting to be better. I'm fighting to reach my purpose— I'm always fightinnng! God, they don't understand me— Do You??? I'm always praying to You. Do You hear me? (I know You do)— They're judging ME for being ME. I was raised in a Kennel. I don't react like unknowing breeds do. I'm different. You made me, right? My journey— You've walked with me? I'm flawed, I know! I'm good, ain't I? This walk has burned my paws. Arizona's concrete is boiling with blood— I haven't always had shoes.— I'm fighting to walk upright— But, I am walking. I talk negatively about no other breeds (I see their scars). They bark about me to others negatively. Why? They're scared of me. I am what their conditions have birthed. My eyes must remind them of Medusa's because they don't look into them stone-faced. I speak truth. I told Judge Fuller in 2016, “Everybody is ashamed of what they've created. Look at me.” (He looks down at me with a grimace I remember from 2014)— What they see makes them uncomfortable. Should I feel uncomfortable? My breed is overlooked! My breed is overkilled!— This Red Nose Bully walks to the back of the Kennel and prays, “No weapon formed against me shall prosper...” I pray for the Red Nose Bully doin' LIFE in the Kennel. (2025)
— E. Jay Flowers
From REDEMPTION WRITINGS FROM PRISON: DOG PROGRAM by E. Jay Flowers — Paperback $14.00 | Kindle $4.99
